Monday, January 22, 2007 ; 12:02 AM♥
I think we should end things here for now were the words from his mouth.. never did I expect such an ending.Its really wierd the way people are. Whats with him telling me to wait. When I asked if he was serious he said I DON"T KNOW.. What tje fuck is wrong with him. He has cut my deep.I am hurt.Deeply hurt. I can't let himgo at all. I dun't know why.Memories of him haunt me everyday.There is not a night that I sleep without thinking of him. I am really in love with him. Our relationship was short but a beautiful one. We were really happy together. He put my pics on his frenster account and my friends were really happy for me. I was thinking.. that I have nmet the right person.. the man of my dreams..maybe not exactly the kind my parents will love for as a son in law.. but I didn't care least about it. All I wanted was to spent the rest of my life with him. Now its no more..his friends said he was going on with that bapok for revenge.. but it doesn't seem so now. Its very superficial that he is lying to me. I hate liars.. and players.. He said that she would or rather IT would never leave him.. and I really think he loves her too... the pictures that I saw and the things that I heared about them .. validates the fact that its certainly more than revenge.. more to the love side..Why is he doing this.. he told me he was grateful that I was there for his parents when he was in remand.. the tears from his mothers eyes.. the sadness in his fathers eyes are something I will never forget. I did this only for his parents and not for the love I had for him.. I never expected anything in return... I really wish that what has been done can be undone...REALITY IS HARD TO FACE..
I am really depressed... the forces of depression are getting the hell out of me.I feel that there is no one left for me..
No one that I can love... No one
new whom I can trust.. it will take long for me to accept reality...I just want to perish forever, many a times I am engulfed by thoughts of suicide.. but I just think really hard and tell myself .... is it worth? My mum.. the one who lives for us , my siblings, most importantly my grandparents.. I have dissapointed those around me many times.. and this time I am making an effort .. to change myself.. for the best..
I have dreams of making it big... I want to make a mark.... i want to be known... I want to unleash the hidden dragon... the one who is thirsty for knowledge....AND TO THAT FUCKIN BITCH WHO HARRASSED ME...IF YOUR READING THIS>>> ME AND HAFIZ ARE NO MORE....
