Fade ♥

Thursday, February 22, 2007 ; 6:26 PM♥

I have learned the hard way to never let it get that far.
Because of you i find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me..
Rumination is what I am going through.I am force to fake a smile everyday of my life .
My heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with....
I am drowned in misery.
Why did you ever do this to me?
I am struggling to juggle all the things that has been going on in my life.
Here I am after my last paper.
My exams were relatively challenging..
I just hope I can get distinctions:)BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION... was extreme torture.Well.. I'll just have to pray hard.Lots of thing have been happening in the life of lil-vain..I am beginning to like someone.. but then again I am so afraid that I may get hurt..i just want someone who is there by my side,accepts me for who I am . Someone sincere and really understanding ..... Well.. hmmph.. i think i have met him:) I dunno yet.. i guess it will take time....Justin is a real sweetheart. An absolute sugaplum...someone whom I can relate to very well..

Next week is attatchment and I can't wait for it :) Its gonna be at IMH .. i like the field of psychiatry... its quite thought provoking and interesting...Well i can't wait.

Memories of him haunt me everyday.. i heared that he has broken up with that BAPOK. Well i dunno how far it is true.. but i do sympathise with IT.. i mean for a guy to love another guy is amazing on one hand and sheer disgust on the other.I dun give a fuckin shit to IT either.. the amount of hell i went through when fiz was inside is something I will never forget.. 3 am 4 am messages and calls. Hiding the whole truth from me.. FUCK IT!

I am proud of fiz .. i really am.. I am so glad that he is back in school and is studying... his parents will definately be proud of him. It takes alot on his part to .. that is to face stigmatisation and sterotyping.. the world is such.. All i want for him is to be someone successful in the end.. and i really hope he remembers me in years to come.. I so badly wanna talk to him and see how he is doing.. but since he asked to end things for now.. it just wouldn't be right.. there is not a night that I sleep without praying for him.. I really want the best for him.. and i will be really proud of him to see him succeed and achieve his goals.Hafiz is someone with loafty ambitions to make it big.. but certain circumstances have made him deviate from his visions.. atleast he realises his mistake and is willing to change fo the better:) Fiz I really hope your doing well=)

Till The End
All these precious moments
With you by my side
Must be a gift from heaven
That's holding me all night
I don't know how I found you
I'm thankful that I have
Now that I have a love so true
To hold, to keep, to share
In my heart I can no longer hold inside
All of the love I used to hide
I'll always be with you Until the very end
In this world There is no place I'd rather be
You are my life, my soul,
And through it all I know you'll come to see
That you're the one Till the end
All my friends around me say you'll be gone too soon
Baby I'm gonna make them see
We've found our way back home ,
We'll always be till the end.

I love my E.I

Monday, February 19, 2007 ; 8:56 PM♥

Lots of thing have happened in such a short period of time.

Its been exam stress.The papers were relatively challenging.Especially behaviour modification!

Damn! It was the last paper for the week so tahirah and i decided to get our hands on pool! Shad came along too.. shad is such a cutiepie! he was ok with us shopping when all the pool parlours were unavailable.I was like disturbing everyone and being my usual crazy self.I met vanessa! I hugged her so tightly! My my.. we were damn close friends in primary school.We did everything together..and she was a real brain at science.. yup vanessa I miss u babe!! After all the childhood recaps.. me,shad,tahirah went to the arcade to see if there was a pool table vacant.. why there was!!

Shad probably had a hard time playing with me.. haha

everything went haywire.. POOR LIL SHAD!!

I then went home... i was missing someone so much.. yeashhh.. JUSTIN!!

He called and we talking and talking:)

The following day was spent at the beach...A whole cousins gathering.. it was fantabulous...we swam and cycled.. brother joined us too.. his first beach gathering with his in- laws!.. we did crazy stuffs.. man it was so fun.. after such a longgg time!

-he is love-

Wednesday, February 14, 2007 ; 11:20 PM♥

Window panes come crashing down
Amidst the tears and pain
Vanishing hopes are gone and flew away
Up above through twilight
Shadows cast across the floor
Reflections of the past
Trembling thoughts of one
Dwelling deep within the soul
A mystical sense of reality
Captured by the craze
All in bewilderment
Of the shock in the wave
Creatures of the dimness
Chattering amongst the green
Everything slows in stillness
What is this I see?

I am totally drained.
I am feeling the exam jitters.
My family and friends have been very supportive.

It has been an affair of exams and grandma's health as well as family issues.

Sunday was great but it was short lived cause of that bitch who totally spoilt the fun.Yea its aunt.Everyone just detests her.She is so dominating and so grandiose about herself.What the hell? Criticisms of results,sarcasms of dressing and attitude.

All I have to say to her is :
GET A LIFE BITCH.

Prem called me a little while back... he is going to the court for the hearing.I hope all goes well.
I am here in school waiting for my med surg paper which in in 1 hr time.

Nervous like shit.Damnnit....

Well I miss my little darlingssss.
Its been quite sometime since I have seen them.
Hmmph

*I think I am in love *
*He who mesmerises me*
*Sweeps me off my feet*

Lil-vain and --------

Monday, February 05, 2007 ; 10:04 PM♥

Well its rather peculiar the way things happen. You can't predict what's gonna happen next.

Reality hurts

Its been a week of tensed emotions and tight schedules.

Shasha and bro broke up

I was really darn upset.

They were the classic couple to my eyes.

She has got it. He has it all to.

She called me in the middle of the night. I couldn't answer her call. Then I got a call from her at 7 am.I wearily answered it.

Shasha didn't sound right. She sounded upset.I know her too well and I can decipher if she is alrite from the tone of her voice.She was crying really badly.I wanted to talk to my brother but I was really scared.Afraid of his anger. He is really nice though . I felt he just needed space to vent his anger.I know that the break up wouldnt last cause they are too close to ever withstand a moment of seperation. Now they are back!!

Yayness!! I was totally happy!! I am going to meet them later:)

Well.. as for the rest of my life... nothing really perfect is happening..exams are around the corner. I making every attempt to revise and stay focus.

I still love him:)

Thursday, February 01, 2007 ; 6:42 PM♥

I can clearly declare that I am obsessed with Justin Timberlake..

His tracks are killer-addictive.

Can't dump my my mp3 for that very reason.

-DECLARED J.T FAN-

Haha .....I'm im loveeeeee
LOVE WITH J.T

And now for the little devils life...->Tresieee sexiee<-

Today I am... overloaded with caffeine.. I'm SO HYPER!!

Went for bio practical viva exam at 10.15

Dr param and Dr ponraj were my lecturers.

Both are my favourite. I love their lectures...its a good lullaby :P haha.. no la.. well they are very dexterous in the field of lecturing though.. bio lessons are really interesting .. i just loveeeeee bio:)

I'm gonna miss bio when i'm in year 3..:(

I'm really euphoric today:)I don't know why.. perhaps I owe it to my prayers last night.. I was feeling rather confused than usual.. and I prayed for a sense of serenity in me.. :)

I am so loving my tongue stud.Its really cute:) haha i'm always playing aroung with my stud.. sometimes i play too much with it and it'll hurt... i wanna get a purple barbell.... got to go hunting for it:)

AND I WANT TO SHED SOME KILOS!!!!!!