Its another complex week.
I dunno why I am really moddy these days.
Am having a loss of appetite.
Dad and me were talking about some stuffs and suddenly he sarted talking about my eating disorder which I went through like 4 years back.
I was hinting to him that its coming back.Its like an ordeal everyday.Sometimes I am like totally fine and I dun give a shit about what I eat. But most of the time I am really cautious, as of lately it getting worst.Dad was telling me that I am psychologically disturbed and I better get myself in tune.I remeber the amount of monet they spent on me. I swear.. HELL OF A LOT..medicastions,psychotherapy,hospitalisation.. AND WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS>> FORCE FEEDING.. I would never forget the amount of pain I went through.. tubes everywhere.. helpless and teary.. ohh so shitty!

Well I am praying really hard that I don't get a relapse.. my career will go down the drain.God help me.

Reuben messaged me the other day.. and was complaining about his camp and stuff.. and that he really misses me. I was like telling all that was going on and yea we decided that we should meet the moment he books out! We got losta catching up to do. Reuben,rebekah,vasan,hitesh.me.. ARE the CRAZIEST AND CRAPPIEST BUNCH EVER!I miss u angel!

My munkie was telling me about the stuffs that were going through his head.I really know what he is going through..I do get reminded of hafiz often too..and its really hard but its reality and we have to face it.I just can't comprehend how can one break up after like such a long time... My first ex and I were like really strong and if not for his accident we would still be together:)I hope my munkie is fine.I mean I am always there to here him out .

I was really sad I could't go out with kaijing yesterday.Babe I will make it up to you i promise.I miss her alot too.:)

He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He’s as dumb as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain’t right
It just ain’t right
Oh when I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
His magical myth
As strong as with I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight
Oh cuz I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
I’m longing for love and the logical
But he’s only happy hysterical
I’m waiting for some kind of miracle
Waited so long So long
He’s soft to the touch
But afraid at the end he breaks
He’s never enough
And still leaves more than I can take
Oh cuz I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful? Or just a beautiful disaster
He’s beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster

Its been really long since a blogged:(
Been totally caught up with school and projects.
The first day was a bad bad bad.Tons of tutorials,online learning! Oh god my poor brain can't fathom to the fact.I am going to be overloaded with work:(
I have been really busy juggling my projects and health.I get the stupid pain like on and off.It kills me sometimes.
Hafiz messaged me on sunday.I was pleasantly shocked! HAha.That boy is doing fine.I am really proud of what he has become.U go darling!!

I miss my munkiee alottt!! Its been quite sometime since I met him.I was supposed to meet him today but I couldn't cause the stupid lecturer kept us back:(
We were doing a procedure on operation theatre. The donning of masks and gloves.Me and Kint were fooling around as usual!! haha. We took a few pics too! haha..such camwhores we are.After school I went to the lab to access my online learning and came across a really interesting mail:)

I somehow had to put it here:

SCORPIO - The Addict EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humour. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Caring.

VIRGO - The One that Waits .Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only.

LIBRA - The Lame OneNice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! however not the kind of person you wanna mess with ... u might end up crying.

ARIES - The LiarOutgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, Addictive. Loud.

AQUARIUS - Does It In The Water Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out.

GEMINI - IrresistibleNice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in the you know where... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.

LEO - The Lion Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found.

CANCER - The Cutie MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great telling stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

PISCES - The Partner for Life Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet.

CAPRICORN - The Passionate LoverLove to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to own Gemini's in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart.

TAURUS - The Tramp Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth!

SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One .Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give.Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where..!!!

Okay I am a saggitarian!!oohlala muahhh! haha

Yesterday was really fun!!
I went to downtown east with my cousins..I swear by it that it was so damn fun. We had an awesome time after what seemed like donkey weeks since we hung out.My pain was getting the hell outta me. But i still went to play=) Couldn't resist all the fun!! We all got wet and wild!! The rides were lamely fun.And as usual we were the crappy munky dumb us.I just love hanging out with my cousins.Its like super nice and I feel that all my sadness just fades away whenever I'm with my loved ones.We went for a hearty dinner after that.We were all catching up on old stories.Our parents were the hot topics!! Cousin rekha was telling us about her wedding plans and stuffs like that.I can't wait for her wedding cause I bet its going to be a blast!! After awhile of chatting I was really tired and decided to go back home first.After showering I called my munkie...he was like panting away and I was like OMG Are you ok.. and he was telling me about his near death experience ! Naughty little fella! He had to hang up on me to regain his composure... I reckon he was tad a little shocked!Poor fella!
Rekha and me We were tired and look what happened!!
I went to school this morning.. I was totally tired out,I dunno why though...as usual the moment I stepped into school I got the stares.. and didn't care least about it.. then when I walked over to the nursing block all my friends were like AMALA!! HOW ARE YOU??? How's your health!! I was like CHILL OUT!! I AM DOING GOOD!! Everyone were hugging me and I felt so loved!! Haha Jag was like Oi!!you better take care!! Rajin and Saidah were absolutely cute and really concern.They love to kiss me on my cheeks!!I then went for lectures and tutorials..and boy oh oh.. this semester can break you or make you.Its like a years work squeezed into 6 months.I almost died the moment I saw my schedules.It was jam packed.The modules are all killer modules.Its going to be late night mugging for me..back to square one =).Its just six painful months of sacrifices and then I'd be out in clinical from oct 2007 to Apr 2008 at cgh.It will be OT and AnE postings. And VA VA VOOM : Staff Nurse Amala!! Haha but I am certainly going to miss poly life when I pass out!I was complaining to Asha about my miserable schedule and was telling her thank god I did'nt have a boyfriend or else the poor fella would have to hear my whines and face my mood swings everytime:( I was talking to munkie for quite sometime.. he was telling me about the after death experience and other stuffs.Poor fella is sick.I wish I was there to take care of him:) Munkie fella!! He is really nice to talk to.

Today was really tiring.I went to grandma's place in the afternoon..it was the tamil new year today and it was nothing extraordinary though.. yupp.. we went to her place to have lunch.It was all vegetarian and grandma kept piling food on my plate!! haha.. i was really filled to the brim ! My sis and I then went to Little India to meet the rest of my cousins to get Amy some gifts.Amy is my cousin, Anthony's fiance.She is american.We cant wait to see her though!While waiting for them I bumped into Deen! He was like OMG AMALA!!! Ur really hot sial!! I was like uhumm Deen!! I was damn shy but yeah we had a short conversation and he had to rush of to get some stuffs for his uncle.After my cousins arrived we started looking around for some suitable gifts. We then bought a kurta,pashimina shawls and accessories. We really hope Amy would like it.After that my sis and I headed back to grandma's place and took a cab back .While we were on our way home I saw mohan annae in another cab! haha He was actually coming over to my place to pass some wedding invitations! My 3 baby angels came too! Timothy(Tiren),Damien(Diren),Keith(Kishen).They were like so cute! I just love kids! The three of them fell in love with my room and were jumping about everywhere.We then had some snacks and played.Around 7 pm we left for grandma's place.This time it was dad's mom's place.We had dinner and jega arrived shortly after with aunt.We were the usual fightercocks,We just fight and argue for the simplest things! We were both fighting with a feather duster and an umbrella..yes yes.. look at our fights!! Shawnie was messaging me and telling that he was helping one of his good girlfriend out cause she was being whacked by her boyfriend.Man whats with guys whacking up their girlfriends?I felt so sorry for her and I am glad that shawn was there for her:) Good munkie!!



They still cldn't resist the camera though they were tired!

My 3 baby angels!top to bottom (timothy,damien,keith)

This is Amy.I think she looks like Preity Zinta!!

Well I feel a little better today but I am really tired and I can;t wait to head to downtowneast tomorrow! Schools on monday:(Gota enjoy before the whole hectic term begins!

Much love,

Amala

And every time I think about you (I smile)

Your care is a-mazing to me =)

I woke up really early today to get all my stuffs for school settled.Managed to finish it all.I then went to take my shower and left for grandma's house to babysit my cousin.Grandma went for some prayers and aunt and uncle were at work . So it was just grandpa, me,cousin sriraam.He was really sick.I was carrying him throughout.It reminded me of working in the paediatrics ward at kkh! I was supposed to meet shawnie today..but it was raining so heavily and I didn't want him to get wet.Poor boy was already sick..I wish I could have been there to take care of that monkie. I came back shortly after Grandma came back.It was raining again! Arhh. My legs were all wet! I was wearing a short denim skirt cause I thought today was a going to be a hot day.I was walking towards my house and then I saw shida! Whoohoo.. she was so sweet to give me a surprise visit! We caught up on old stuffs.. she asked about fiz and I was telling her all that happened.. we were looking at old photos and stuffs.. and she was telling me how compatible me and fiz were.. I was like gal!!! Stop! tak boleh tahan seh.. nanti nanggis tau tau! And she was like eh sayang maaf eh!Sometimes I wish I could turn back time.Those fond memories are so wonderful.
And I was telling her that I am getting to know someone called shawn and how well I click with him and all.. and she was like whoohoo good sia! All the best !!

Can't help if I space in a daze,
My eyes tune out the other way,
I may switch off and go in a daydream,
In this head my thoughts are deep,
But sometimes I can't even speak.
Take me away
Break me away
Take me away
I cannot find a way to describe it
It's there inside; all I do is hide
I wish that it would just go away
What would you do, you do, if you knew
What would you do?

I woke up really early today to get all my stuffs for school settled.Managed to finish it all.I then went to take my shower and left for grandma's house to babysit my cousin.Grandma went for some prayers and aunt and uncle were at work . So it was just grandpa, me,cousin sriraam.He was really sick.I was carrying him throughout.It reminded me of working in the paediatrics ward at kkh! I was supposed to meet shawnie today..but it was raining so heavily and I didn't want him to get wet.Poor boy was already sick..I wish I could have been there to take care of that monkie. I came back shortly after Grandma came back.It was raining again! Arhh. My legs were all wet! I was wearing a short denim skirt cause I thought today was a going to be a hot day.I was walking towards my house and then I saw shida! Whoohoo.. she was so sweet to give me a surprise visit! We caught up on old stuffs.. she asked about fiz and I was telling her all that happened.. we were looking at old photos and stuffs.. and she was telling me how compatible me and fiz were.. I was like gal!!! Stop! tak boleh tahan seh.. nanti nanggis tau tau! And she was like eh sayang maaf eh!Sometimes I wish I could turn back time.Those fond memories are so wonderful.
And I was telling her that I am getting to know someone called shawn and how well I click with him and all.. and she was like whoohoo good sia! All the best !!

Can't help if I space in a daze,
My eyes tune out the other way,
I may switch off and go in a daydream,
In this head my thoughts are deep,
But sometimes I can't even speak.
Take me away
Break me away
Take me away
I cannot find a way to describe it
It's there inside; all I do is hide
I wish that it would just go away
What would you do, you do, if you knew
What would you do?

Today was extraordinary.I met kaijing darling!! She was telling me about her boyfriend.I felt sorry for her,i mean i was telling her that a sincere person is really hard to come by.She was saying there was once he didn't even contact her for 10 days! And then we were telling each other what we expect of our boyfriends.. and both of our expectations were the same.We don't need a guy who drives the most expensive car,who decks himself with branded stuffs,who splurges on us,we just want someone who is genuine and nice.I was saying to her that there was once where fiz wrote a message on a tissue and gave me.. i mean it was really sweet and the thought of writing the message at that point of time.. sometimes its just little things that count:) and there were times where i will be talking to him and he would message me.. then I would be like "baby wait ehz.. i dono which idiot is messaging me".. and surprise! It would be him.. haha.. then he would be like "baby i am an idiot is it! huh huh? " haha it was crazy... so yea .. she was really upset though.. but i hope she felt much better after talking to me:) I love youu darling!! Thanks a ton for the times you heared me out.. especially during my rough patch with fiz:)
I was telling her about shawn.I told her that I could like click with him really well and there are lots of stuffs that we have in common.. and she was telling me that its really good that we click well:)
We also went to chant.I chanted for happiness and for my health,I also chanted for shawn..for him to be happy and to be blessed with the finest:)
He was telling me about how he was feeling about all that was going through his head,I know how hard it is on him and he had to get punished when he wasn't at fault.He was complaining about his wisdom tooth too.He is really nice to talk to. I promised him brownies:) I will be making it for him:)

I woke up this morning.. I felt kinda queasy..

Mom can be quite a maniac at times!
I was talking to shawn and she just had to shout so loudly to my sister that I got a shock of my life and dropped my phone!
Oh god.And then my phone automatically switched off!
I felt totally bad for shawnie:(
I am sorry shawnie!!

Yesterday was really nice.
I totally loved it
It rained so heavily and I was so tempted to play in the rain!! Well i know why it rained so heavily.. shawn.. so much so for us claiming about our hotness !! and play pretending god! Even god's ears can't fathom to that fact!!! Little munkiee

He is really adorable and he is someone who i can relate to very well.
We ate at mac and then he was taking a smoke...Shawnieee!! must try to quit k?
We then took a stroll and talked.. he was telling me that lots of stuffs has been racing through his mind.. well i totally know what he is going through, i have been in his shoes... and the feeling totally sucks.. its like you feel played out and brutally hurt. I personally feel that if someone really loves you that person won't even imagine leaving you.. cause love isn't a game,and humans aren't puppets neither is life a stage for the play of instant attractions and brutal betrayal. I know its absolutely hard.. but you have got to tell your self that your worth so much more.. In time to come we will realise that there is so much btter people out there:)
Shawn you know that i am always there for you.
I really want to get to know him better.
He has an amazing character and that thing in him that has caught my attention:)
Ok shawniee i know your head is gonna swell!!

I would feel so awkward if he doesn't messages or if I don't talk to him.I dunno why but yea:)

Ghayathri called me and was thanking me for lending her clothes for the ms vasantham competition and then she was telling me about her boyfriend ruben and the whole lotta shit they are facing.Man I pity her so much.. he has slapped her.. and I remember screwing him up for whacking her once.. whats with guys whacking up their girlfriends? Gawd!!She wants to meet me today.. and yes I am going down to meet her.. poor gal was all tears when she was talking to me.. and ruben also was complaining about her to me.. I am the one whom screws up both of them and bring them together most of the time.. i really hope i can do this again.. i mean she loves him alot.. and her happiness is very important to me as well:)
Gal I am here for you!!

I miss dad. I love mom.I hope things go well for them.. dad told me lots of stuff and I didn't tell anyone in my family about it.He wants to file a divorce:( But I know god will answer prayers.I feel so neglected by the way they behave...God i know your there to help me")

I miss my darlingss
Shawnnn is just awesome:)

Sexy eyes rite?:P

My sexy baby boy who a I loveee a zillion

My sexy baby boy who a I loveee a zillion

Lovee me =)

I was hearing to usher's MY BOO today


I just love that track.One of my personal favourite!


I miss my darlings so much!


I was talking to my asha darlin for like 2 hours! haha Its the first time that I haven't seen her for a week.We meet like everyday in school.EVERYDAY.And its like I probably won't even have time for my boyfreind if I am gonna get one... cause me and asha are inseperables!!


Ahh... we were talking about her crush..yes its none other than prem darling.. They would just make a perfect pair, she was telling me how much she liked him.And boy oh boy prem loves her alot too. Both of them are like PERFECT.I know its gonna be soon.


Mr prem! Please pop the question! cause your darling is waiting.She was saying that she hopes all goes fine and that she really feel sad when he doesn't message her. I know she is really in love with him!





Ohhhh lala





We were playing some dumb ass games over the phone. We both are the sillest of best friends. We were planing to wear orange and purple for our 21st birthday! I was like ; asha you will look like an orange and me a grape!




hahas





Well thinking about relationships.. its really hard to find sincere guys.There are quite a number out there who are trying to get to know me.. but they are just not my type.. super playboys.I know it when I see one.


Me and my sister were coming with a list of how we want our boyfriends to be .. And well this was mine=)










Someone who would move my hair from my face and kiss my forehead


Someone who would sing to me at random moments


A boy who would bring tears to my eyes with the sweet things he does


Someone who lets me lie on his chest


Someone who would throw stuffed toys at me when I acted dumb and kiss me a million times


Someone who would make fun of me just to make me laugh


Someone who would take long strolls with me in the park and put his hands around my waist and give me bear hugs


He would tell all his friends about me and smile when he is doing it.


Someone who would get wet in the rain with me


A baby boy who would never be afraid to say I love you to me in front of his friends


Someone who argues with me about the sillest things and then makeup


A boy who would kiss me at midnight and count stars with me


Someone who would tell me I am beautiful but not too often=)


But most importantly someone who would be my best friend and never break my heart

Nobody knows what they have until they loose it.
You never leave the person whom you love for the one you like,
because that person who you like will leave you for the person whom they love.
Isn't the citation so true?
Well its been really long since I saw my darlings=)
My friends have been calling and checking how I am doing.
And shawn has been keeping me company though messages and calls.
Haha the things we talk about.. the way we disturb each other... it so fun disturbing him!
He is my evil twin!!

Mom and Dad are perfect now!Yeayness!!
I can't wait to go to grandma's place.
Old man is going to india and the week's gonna be so slack!
Just that I can't really go out.Can't really jump around.But what the hag.I am still the same noisy me!I have been trying my had at lotsa different stuffs like knitting and beading...its so nice getting to learn different stuffs.

Life is beautiful.
Lets waste time
I just don't care..
Ooohh.
I wanna shake it off.
I wanna dance in the rain
I wanna scream and shout.
I wanna count the stars
I wanna laze in the beach
I LoVeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I am really happy today
I hope this happiness lasts=)

I miss shad!
I miss asha
I miss kak mai!
I miss working out!!

Nobody likes being played
He said I'm worth it, his one desire
I know things about 'em that you wouldn't wanna read about
He kissed me, his one and only, beautiful Liar
Tell me how you tolerate the things that you just found out about
You never know
Why are we the ones who suffer
I have to let go
He won't be the one to cry
Let's not kill the karma
Let's not start a fight
It's not worth the drama
For a beautiful liar
(Oh) Did he laugh about it
(Oh) It's not worth our time
(Oh) We can live without 'emJust a beautiful liar
I trusted him, but when I followed you, I saw you together
I didn't know about you then 'till I saw you with him again
I walked in on your love scene, slow dancing
You stole everything, how can you say I did you wrong
You never know
When the pain and heartbreak's over
I have to let go
The innocence is gone
(Ay) Let's not kill the karma
(Ay) It's not worth the drama
For a beautiful liar
(Oh) Did he laugh about it
(Oh) It's not worth our time
(Oh) We can live without 'em
Just a beautiful liar
Tell me how to forgive you
When it's me who's ashamed
And I wish could free you Of the hurt and the pain
But the answer is simple
He's the one to blame
(Ay) Let's not kill the karma
(Ay) Let's not start a fight
(Ay) It's not worth the drama
For a beautiful liar
(Oh) Did he laugh about it
(Oh) It's not worth our time
(Oh) We can live without 'em
Just a beautiful liar

Love this!

I woke up feeling really queasy today.I don't know why.I felt like something was stabbing me at my abdominal area.I think it was just some normal post op pain.Well I took my painkillers and then had my shake.Yumm I just love to drink that.. it so yummy!:) Well Shawn was such a ctu fella the night before..talking to him really cheers me up.He has got this thing in him which i find really intersting.. and he was like telling me about his dream today.. it was about monkeys! Haha to thing that this little darling dreams about monkeys! Well he is really someone I can relate to so well..we have quite a number of things in common...and yea I just hope he is fine whenver he rides his bike:)

Mom was so temperamental today. She slew up all of a sudden! I was so scared.She got so stressed with dad and was talking about divorce AGAIN! Arhhh it gets the hell outta me... and she just screamed and screamed.I did know what to do.. I just ran up.. i duno how i did that with all the pain and dropped to my bed and cried and cried.I was just so irritated with the fact that things at home don't seem fine .. i mean we are a happy family.. but if only mom and dad could be more approchable to each other.. Dad is such a workaholic.Mom is a SCREAMAHOLIC! I swear by it.I just dunno what to do sometimes..Uncle ratna then called me and consoled me.I just love uncle ratna.He is always there for me.He was like telling me .. your wound is healing you cant keep crying cause the crying is going to exert pressure and your going to have pain and all.. and he managed to talk me out of working at MCcafe. He does miracles at times.. haha well well shawn is really fun to talk to :)I was coming up with a wish list .. and these are the things i want to do:

MY WISH LIST
1. lose 10kg
2.get all my darlingss presents
3.design a sexyyyy saree blouse
4.prepare something special for cousins wedding
5.RECOVER!!!
6.Get A's for year 3
7.get something for my joyce's baby!!


I loveeee.I adoreee.I cherishh

♥ Tresca.
offically 20 on 2o/08

Loud,sarcastic,intellectual,conversationalist

Born a star,lives life to the fullest