Fade ♥

Thursday, February 22, 2007 ; 6:26 PM♥

I have learned the hard way to never let it get that far.
Because of you i find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me..
Rumination is what I am going through.I am force to fake a smile everyday of my life .
My heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with....
I am drowned in misery.
Why did you ever do this to me?
I am struggling to juggle all the things that has been going on in my life.
Here I am after my last paper.
My exams were relatively challenging..
I just hope I can get distinctions:)BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION... was extreme torture.Well.. I'll just have to pray hard.Lots of thing have been happening in the life of lil-vain..I am beginning to like someone.. but then again I am so afraid that I may get hurt..i just want someone who is there by my side,accepts me for who I am . Someone sincere and really understanding ..... Well.. hmmph.. i think i have met him:) I dunno yet.. i guess it will take time....Justin is a real sweetheart. An absolute sugaplum...someone whom I can relate to very well..

Next week is attatchment and I can't wait for it :) Its gonna be at IMH .. i like the field of psychiatry... its quite thought provoking and interesting...Well i can't wait.

Memories of him haunt me everyday.. i heared that he has broken up with that BAPOK. Well i dunno how far it is true.. but i do sympathise with IT.. i mean for a guy to love another guy is amazing on one hand and sheer disgust on the other.I dun give a fuckin shit to IT either.. the amount of hell i went through when fiz was inside is something I will never forget.. 3 am 4 am messages and calls. Hiding the whole truth from me.. FUCK IT!

I am proud of fiz .. i really am.. I am so glad that he is back in school and is studying... his parents will definately be proud of him. It takes alot on his part to .. that is to face stigmatisation and sterotyping.. the world is such.. All i want for him is to be someone successful in the end.. and i really hope he remembers me in years to come.. I so badly wanna talk to him and see how he is doing.. but since he asked to end things for now.. it just wouldn't be right.. there is not a night that I sleep without praying for him.. I really want the best for him.. and i will be really proud of him to see him succeed and achieve his goals.Hafiz is someone with loafty ambitions to make it big.. but certain circumstances have made him deviate from his visions.. atleast he realises his mistake and is willing to change fo the better:) Fiz I really hope your doing well=)

Till The End
All these precious moments
With you by my side
Must be a gift from heaven
That's holding me all night
I don't know how I found you
I'm thankful that I have
Now that I have a love so true
To hold, to keep, to share
In my heart I can no longer hold inside
All of the love I used to hide
I'll always be with you Until the very end
In this world There is no place I'd rather be
You are my life, my soul,
And through it all I know you'll come to see
That you're the one Till the end
All my friends around me say you'll be gone too soon
Baby I'm gonna make them see
We've found our way back home ,
We'll always be till the end.

I love my E.I