Its another complex week. I dunno why I am really moddy these days. Am having a loss of appetite. Dad and me were talking about some stuffs and suddenly he sarted talking about my eating disorder which I went through like 4 years back. I was hinting to him that its coming back.Its like an ordeal everyday.Sometimes I am like totally fine and I dun give a shit about what I eat. But most of the time I am really cautious, as of lately it getting worst.Dad was telling me that I am psychologically disturbed and I better get myself in tune.I remeber the amount of monet they spent on me. I swear.. HELL OF A LOT..medicastions,psychotherapy,hospitalisation.. AND WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS>> FORCE FEEDING.. I would never forget the amount of pain I went through.. tubes everywhere.. helpless and teary.. ohh so shitty!
Well I am praying really hard that I don't get a relapse.. my career will go down the drain.God help me.
Reuben messaged me the other day.. and was complaining about his camp and stuff.. and that he really misses me. I was like telling all that was going on and yea we decided that we should meet the moment he books out! We got losta catching up to do. Reuben,rebekah,vasan,hitesh.me.. ARE the CRAZIEST AND CRAPPIEST BUNCH EVER!I miss u angel!
My munkie was telling me about the stuffs that were going through his head.I really know what he is going through..I do get reminded of hafiz often too..and its really hard but its reality and we have to face it.I just can't comprehend how can one break up after like such a long time... My first ex and I were like really strong and if not for his accident we would still be together:)I hope my munkie is fine.I mean I am always there to here him out .
I was really sad I could't go out with kaijing yesterday.Babe I will make it up to you i promise.I miss her alot too.:)
He drowns in his dreams An exquisite extreme I know He’s as dumb as he seems And more heaven than a heart could hold And if I try to save him My whole world could cave in It just ain’t right It just ain’t right Oh when I don’t know I don’t know what he’s after But he’s so beautiful Such a beautiful disaster And if I could hold on Through the tears and the laughter Would it be beautiful? Or just a beautiful disaster His magical myth As strong as with I believe A tragedy with More damage than a soul should see And do I try to change him So hard not to blame him Hold on tight Hold on tight Oh cuz I don’t know I don’t know what he’s after But he’s so beautiful Such a beautiful disaster And if I could hold on Through the tears and the laughter Would it be beautiful? Or just a beautiful disaster I’m longing for love and the logical But he’s only happy hysterical I’m waiting for some kind of miracle Waited so long So long He’s soft to the touch But afraid at the end he breaks He’s never enough And still leaves more than I can take Oh cuz I don’t know I don’t know what he’s after But he’s so beautiful Such a beautiful disaster And if I could hold on Through the tears and the laughter Would it be beautiful? Or just a beautiful disaster He’s beautiful Such a beautiful disaster
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