I have been very mood out as of lately.Pent up emotions.I am totally disappointed with what I did.I am irritated with everything. I can't hold on. Sometimes.. I just wonder what's life.I shud have just gone during my last medical battle. So many stressors.. to much to list .. but I will still list it.. first is charles.. my ex bf... i broke up with him cause we were really arguing everyday and couldn't seem to agree upon anything at all.. now he is on drugs and stuff.. I feel as if its my fault.. he was telling me how much he regrets letting me go once online.. I feel totally screwed up.The next Alvin .. I just dono whats happening..Seems like the whole world knows about us.. Sometimes its just so hard to face reality.. and I am really at ends.. I dunno what to do with him..Asha, Malar,Kaijing,Joyce,Kak Mai,My brother and my close cousind know whats going on. Simply to put it.. I aint the kinda girl you can mess around with alvin. Alvin was telling me he still clearly remembers how hard he tried to even talk to me. I am not that friendly. I am a kid with alot of pent up emotions and fustrations. I was upset when I saw the slit marks in alvin's hand. I cried.. I seriously did..But he promised he would never do it again.. He told me like everything about him.. and there is more to come but he is yet to tell me. He told me about his ex gfs,flings,the fact that he used to sleep around.. everything.. and he promised he would never do it again.Saraboy and malar are helping me find out stuffs.. the was once where alvin said .. i was just a pastime.. fuck.. but then sara said alvin said it in a fit of anger.. one part of me is convinced.. another part.. goes like PLAYBOY TECHNIQUES.. I just feel like slapping him.But when he spoke to me .. it really didn't seem so. And the best part was when he showed me his Id card. Oh god.. it was so not ALVIN!! I choked on my drink!He then hugged me and kept saying I love you. He told me he was talking to BRANDY! Ohh that made me go EEEEWWWWWWWW. Not another bapok! I dunno what to do. I am just so tensed and confused. Certain things I did which I don't want to mention.. I hate myself for it. I am really ashamed.But I just hope things to go well.

I have lotsa assignments to complete.. fucking huge ass bills to settle..

♥ Tresca.
offically 20 on 2o/08

Loud,sarcastic,intellectual,conversationalist

Born a star,lives life to the fullest