Tuesday, May 08, 2007 ; 10:19 PM♥
Sometimes I wish you were reading this.
But you probably don't even care.
You said stuffs that almost made me cry .
You really were urself that day.
Why can't you understand that I am NOT OVER YOU.
I AM NOT A TOY.
I'm sick of all this.
I'm numb.
I'm feeling so patronised by my paranoia.
You begged me for one last chance.I gave it to you.. didn't I?
And those three words were said too much.
Extremes we touched.
I hate you sometimes.
I love you though.
I am disappointed.
Totally worn out.
I am cut deeply.
You have wrecked me of all my sanity and emotions.
Thanks for acting like you cared,and making feel like I was the only one.
I am really not myself these few days.I am feeling very pessemistic.I have been having a very high fever. I can't concentrate. I called uncle ratna yesaterday and was crying to him.He was consling me and telling me not to worry.I am so confused and hurt. I spoke to reuben yesterday evening.. he was apparantly worried sick and called me.. he cheered me up alot. But I still felt fucked up. He was telling me not to worry and that things are going to be fine.But it aint getting any better. I am really like dying here. I feel so sick. So distressed and disappointed. All those whom are really close to me would know what I am going through. I aint willing to talk about it at all.Perhaps only to those I am close with.
Thanks alot for those who have been there.I had a call from him yesterday .. and he was like, why do you sound so sad.. like i have left you.. and I said I am not feeling well.... then he said he is feeling insecure.. Arhh.. I was trying my best to convince him though.. its just so hard to give up someone you love.. but you have to.. sometimes I wonder what shit have I got myself into.. I hate it.I really do. Im very very very very listless.I''m sorry for those who have been facing negelction from me:) I really am sorry. I'd be back on track soon enough:)
