Sunday, February 10, 2008 ; 4:37 AM♥
Then it became a vicious cycle,that of emotions and apologies,(if you readin this its to you) get it right that I am not here to pin point anyone,but my blog is a personal emotional ground,your respected if you patronize it,I am indeed amazed at the way things have been,sitting back and pondering,I cry to myself,do i deserve this? Well,hell no,sometimes I wish I could live with my eyes closed,I wish I never met cruel people with unruly intentions,I wish I was smiling,I wish I never went through an ED,I wish I never did a suicide,I wish I was that chubby little kid who always makes others smile,it not an emotional rollercoaster,
i see it as a pandemic in my life,well do wishes really come true? God,do you hear my cries at night,god I'm sorry for wasting away emotionally,I am disappointed a great deal.God protect me,help me sleep,free me away from my insecurites and fears.God you never left me helpless,but now you are I know I have sinned once by trying to take away my life,I am sorry.God please take me away from the cruel stigma that has been inflicted,I just want to be in the arms of my loved ones,is that so wrong,gos my heart is barely alive,my mind is almost dead,god help me. At the end of everything I know there is something positive in for me,too many disappointments ,can't fathom,god forbid I wasn't anything like close to worst,there is a past I CAN"T ACCEPT BUT I AHVE TO LIVE WITH.
What would you do if you were me.
What would you do if you had sleepless nights and had to be on antidepressants cause of domestic situations,parents,expectations,fear of abandonment,I have come this far,and I thank God for bringing me this far, the only thing I am lokking forward to is my work,my ville where I just live my passion,NURSING.
Thanks to those who have been there for me,namely asha,suresh,prem,shasha,satish,my mommy,my brother,my sister,my soneya,cynthia,shubin,kak mai,jag,saidah,rajin,xinni,jeremy,joyce,and my godbaby who keep me going,
thanks guys.
